Posted below is an exert from a conversation I had with my dear friend, Joe Foster.

Joseph: this is why women hate talking to men

me: dude, I’m sorry you’re so frustrated with school. I love you and I think you look really good in your jeans

Joseph: If I were married to you I would smother you in your sleep tonight

Joseph: probably because of the jeans comment

me: It would be tough, I’m a light sleeper with excellent upper-body strength

Joseph: that’s why I’d drug you first
they’d nail me with premeditation
so I’d try to paint you as emotionally abusive to try and ditch the death penatly

me: Luckily my years of drug abuse in east Samalia has built my resistance to most all sedatives
*Somalia

Joseph: well then I’d frame it as a relapse and overdose
I’d keep the kids and the house
scott free

me: you mean you’d inherit the rent and our debt

Joseph: I’d sell the rights to the trashy novel I write about our life to lifetime and go on the daytime talk show circuit
I pick up a drinking habit to cope with the idea of killing you and snap. confessing what i’ve done to our kid one night in a sobbing alcoholic mess
she takes it miserably hard and is never the same
her faith in me is shattered but the loyalty is still there
she turns to fighting and sex

me: I’m going to post a good portion of this conversation

Joseph: 15 years later she’s on the run from Johnny law for a string of bank robberies she did out west
the last one went south quick and she had to kill a partner to get out alive

me: all because she didn’t have a Dad