I was sitting outside a McDonald’s the otherday talking to someone about the best way to beat an assault wrap and the thought occured to me “why am I having this conversation?” I became a bit sad. It then followed to reason that I began thinking about why I know how to pick a lock, throw a punch, or beat a security system.

It’s all because I don’t have a time machine.

If I had a time machine I would find a 13 year old me and tell him that

getting kicked out of Junior honor Society

getting D’s and not caring

vandalizing things for fun

listening to Blood for Blood

idolizing the Sex Pistols

was not going to be all that cool when I turned 25 and found out my wife and I’s first kid was on the way.

The catch-twenty-two is that 13 year old me would have flicked me off, called me a sell-out, and put his discman headphones back on.

But I don’t have a time machine, and I can’t say I have regrets.

But if I did….